Misspelling
Charles Kuralt
They say this is an age of conformity, but wherever we go, we keep finding refreshing evidence of individualism, even on the roadside signs. You know that no stuffy conformist painted this sign: PARK HEAR. It is spelled wrong, but it does tell you where to park: “hear”! MACHANIC ON DUTY. FRONT END REPAIRES. This mechanic may not be good at spelling, but he’s probably fine at making “repaires.” Anything which can be sold, we have found, can also be misspelled . . . ANTIQES ... anything from “antiques” to “souvenirs” . . . SOUVINERS ... especially “souvenirs” . . . SOUVENIERS. How do you spell “souvenirs”? SOUVENIRES. This is the American answer: just exactly as you please!
We have found our country’s spelling to be horrible, and entirely excusable. ACERAGE FOR SAIL—we may excuse this man because he’s a farmer, not a schoolteacher. RASBERIES—so is this man. SPEGHETTI AND PIZZA—and this man because he’s probably from across the sea. BEER AVAILALBE HERE—and this man because, like as not, he was sampling his own product while he painted the sign. BAR DRINKS 55¢ ANEYTIME—that can blur anybody’s memory of how to spell.
Some misspellings are quiet and private, like this one in the back room of an Oklahoma diner: BE CURTEOUS AND SMILE. Others are spectacular, like this one in Oregon—(huge lighted sign) BAR AND RESTRUANT—and proclaim their error proudly for half a mile in every direction. HUNGARY? MARION’S SNACK SHACK 6 MILES. If you are hungary enough, of course, it doesn’t matter much.
NO TRESSPASSING. We like the snappy, rude signs. NO TRASPASSING. You get the idea. NO TRUSTPASSING. Keep out. NO BOATS ALOUD—silent boats OK, but no boats aloud.
The point about American spelling is that, however awful, it serves the cause of individualism and serves the purpose. We read this one at a gas station in Tennessee: NO CONGRETATING ON THE DRIVEWAY. VIALTORS WILL BE PROSCUATED. Well, naturally we didn’t congretate. Fearing proscuation, we paid for our gas and pulled right out of there and headed on down the road.
Making Meanings
First Thoughts
1. Do you think Kuralt’s essay belongs in a collection called “What I Think”?
Shaping Interpretations
2. How do you think Kuralt feels about misspellings? Does he describe his attitude directly or let the reader infer it?
3. How do you feel about the need to spell English words correctly?
Extending the Text
4. Do you agree that we live in an “age of conformity”? Why, or why not? Besides the misspellings on roadside signs, how do you think Americans show “refreshing evidence of individualism”?
5. How is the problem described in “Hints on Pronunciation . . .” related to English spelling? (Don’t miss the chance to read this poem aloud.) What other pronunciation problems can you add to this list?
Choices: Building Your Portfolio
Writer’s Notebook
1. Collecting Ideas for a Persuasive Essay
Be prepared for opposing views. You have your opinion; others may hold opposing views. Check your notebook for topics you’ve been considering for the Writer’s Workshop found in this collection. Select a topic and formulate your opinion on it. Now imagine what people who disagree with your opinion might say. How would they attack your reasons and evidence? Take notes for the counterargument you could use to refute your opponents (attacks on what they say and further defense of your position).
Creative Writing
2. Going Places
Using “Misspelling” as a model, choose a place (your hometown or a place you’ve visited) and write a short feature about it. What is unique or unusual about the place and its residents?
Research/Speaking
3. Spelling’s History
Who decides what’s correct and not correct? What’s a lexicographer? Who wrote the first dictionaries, and how are they written now? With a small group, research some aspect of the history of English spelling and share your findings with the class. You might want to report on the work of Samuel Johnson and Noah Webster.
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